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Episode Transcript
[00:00:08] Speaker A: Good evening, ladies.
Thank you so much for joining us tonight as we begin our scholar in residence program with Ruchama Welsher. We are grateful to the Charles Crane Family foundation for their sponsorship of this initiative. Special thank you also goes to our dedicated board of directors, many of whom I see here this evening for their guidance and their commitment to women's learning and growth. Ruchama will be speaking an additional six times while she is here, and I encourage all of you to join us. And I am sure after hearing Ruchama speak tonight that you will be running back for more.
We have printed schedules available on the registration table in the lobby, and the schedule is available on our website as well. Please note that our regular Monday through Wednesday classes are not taking place this week.
This evening's program has been sponsored in memory of Celia Feierstein by her niece and nephew, Jeschuk and Barbie Lehman Siegel and family from Silver Spring, Maryland. We are grateful for their continued partnership.
Celia Firestein Seal Bakrafal lived in the upper Park Heights area here in Baltimore for over 30 years. She attended Sharath Israel congregation and she loved to regularly attend the Shabbat Shiram there, as well as other community Torah lectures. Celia had a full and loving life until the age of 91. She was a devoted daughter to her parents and was beloved by all of her nieces and nephews. Celia showed respect and kindness to all who she met. She was known for the smiling way she welcomed everyone and always faced life with fortitude, emunah and hashem, and a panimya fot. It is appropriate, therefore, that tonight's program is dedicated to the memory of this dear lady, Celia Ferstein. Her life was devoted to helping and giving to others and to exploring Yiddishkeit in a full range of shiorim. She would surely have been pleased to know that so many would enjoy, learn, and grow from this event. May the learning done here tonight be an alia for her. Nishama it is now my honor to introduce our scholar in residence, Mrs. Rukhama Welsher. I first met Rukhama in 2019. I was fortunate to be among a group of women from Baltimore who attended the inaugural OU Women's Initiatives Leadership Summit in New Jersey. Ruhama was traveling to the summit from South Africa with a brand new baby. Before the summit, the OU set up a WhatsApp chat for all of the participants, and Rukhama asked on the chat if anyone in the group was connected to women's learning, and I immediately answered, yes, that's me.
At the time, she was working on setting up an organization similar to ours in South Africa. Andrea, in her brilliance as always, got her going and helped me, and she prepared a packet for me to give to Ruchama filled with flyers, information, ads, schedules, everything that she needed to know about our organization.
Leah Berry and I sat with Ruchama at the conference for quite some time, discussing our experiences, and then Ruchama and I would speak often as I wanted to hear about every detail of her success.
Over the years, we have kept up our connection, even seeing each other this past sukkas in Israel. I am so grateful for the wonderful friendship that we have developed.
The pandemic and Zoom opened up an opportunity for our ladies here in Baltimore to learn with Rukhama. Virtually over the past few years, she has become a cherished member of our faculty, giving special lectures and most recently, a weekly Sunday morning class. For those of you who are not familiar with Rahama, I'd like to give you just a minute about her background. Mrs. Rahama Welsher has been teaching Torah and training teachers in London, the USA and South Africa for 20 years, and she is the director of the Chief Rabbi's Office of Education in South Africa. She received her master's degree in educational leadership and innovation from Warwick University in England, and she is currently pursuing her phd in education and international development at University College in London. Rohamma lives in Johannesburg, South Africa, with her husband and her children. And I must tell you that Ruchama does have a Baltimore connection. She lives here during the first year of her marriage, while her husband was learning in Yisrael and her first child was born here. Ladies, please join me in welcoming my dear friend Rachama Welsher to Ms. Baltimore.
[00:05:42] Speaker B: I'm a little bit speechless after that. Thank you, Linda. Thank you so much for such a warm introduction. And thank you, Linda and Andrea, for a friendship of so many years and so much that you've helped me do and your support over so many years. I have so few words to describe something so big. Thank you so much, and thank you, everybody, for coming out tonight in the rain and in the dark and in the cold. Thank you. It's lovely to see you all.
This world is not a perfect world.
Hashem originally intended to make a perfect world. But this world is not perfect.
So let's take a minute to think, what does a perfect world look like?
What was the ideal, perfect world that Hashem envisioned for us? What did that even look like?
So, first of all, in a perfect world, there's no death, there's no October 7. Massacre.
Nobody dies.
Second of all, in a perfect world, there's no Hester punim.
What does hesterpunim mean? If you imagine for a minute that this room is dark, that all the lights are out, it's dark outside, you can't see anything. You walk into the room, and you walk in from that back door, and you immediately bump on some of the chairs, and then you trip on somebody's purse, right? And you can't see where you're going. And then you bang your head, and you get up and you bang your head on the next desk, right? That's what a dark room looks like. But then if I were to come in and just switch on the lights, it would be the exact same room. But you'd walk in, and you'd walk straight down the aisle and get into a seat and know exactly where you're going, and nothing would hurt.
That's what a world of Hester upon him is, that the lights are out.
If Akadosh Baruchel were to turn on the light, it means a world of Hashem's Face being hidden. If the light were on, we would see, we would understand, we would appreciate why things happen the way they do, and then it wouldn't be painful. That's what a world without Hester upon him doesn't looks like.
We once had a world that was a perfect world, where there was no hesterPonim, where there was no death. And it lasted for not even one day. That was the day when HAshem created the world. It was a perfect world, but it lasted for not even one day, until Adam Harishan ate from the tree.
And then we got another chance at a perfect world, this time at and Tyra, when HAshem gave us the tyra. And then again, it was a perfect world. There was no malachamavis. There was no death. There was no hesser upon him. And that world, too, it lasted for one day, that perfect world. Twice we had a chance at a perfect world, and it lasted each time for one day.
And this is an idea that's discussed a lot by Rav Ghidalia Shore in his sefer ar gazal yahu, and he discusses it within a framework of understanding the two sets of luchas. LuChas. Join us. The first set of luchas that we received and Luchashnius. The second set of luchas we received, he discusses. This is a theme in his forum. Okay. It's not something he talks about one time. It's not an idea that appears in one place. He talks about it in ParaShas KiSIsa. I've seen it, which is the parasha where the lochas are given. He talks about it in his series on shavuos, which is about receiving the toraH. He talks about it in ParaShas Pura. I'm not exactly sure of the direct connection to ParaShas Para over TherE. He talks about it in his section on Chorban. He talks about it in ParaSha SHOKdIM, because that's the parasha approaching ROsh HashaNah and SHiva. And it could be in other Places also. I haven't studied every single part of his foruM. But I'm saying this is a recurring theme in his forum that he talks about over and over again, the idea of living in an imperfect world, which is within a framework of Luchas Rushanus and Luchasnius. But as LiNda mentioned, this is a series on Messiah and understanding the Torah. Thoughts of a lot of different leaders and Torah thinkers and G'dayim that we've had over the generations. So I want to just take a minute before we discuss his teachings. To understand a little bit of context of who he was. Who was Ragadalia Shaw? So, first of all, he was born in Galitzia, and he came to America when he was twelve years old. He moved to Williamsburg when he was twelve years old. So his formative yeshiva years, his formative years of learning Torah were in America over here. And that's why Rev. Gadalia Shaw has the reputation. He was described by Rev. Aaron Kotler, actually, no less, as the first homegrown american Godzilla. That was his title, the first homegrown american Godzilla. And that's why I felt strongly that in a series on Masora in America, I think we should learn Torah from the first homegrown american gazelle.
He was known. He got a reputation of a genius and a masmith from a very, very young age. And rumors started to spread that there was a gazelle of european proportions growing and developing in America, which at that time was unheard of. You could count the number of yeshiva schools on one hand. The yiddish kite in America was not thriving at that time. And here was somebody who was learning in american yeshivas and who was growing to be like a european godel. This is all post world war. This is between the two world wars, right?
Rav Meir Shapiro of Lublin, the founder of Chachmei Lublin, came one time to America, and he spent some time with Rav Gadalia Shaw. And he said about him, he has one of the finest minds in America. And he said, the finest mind I've come across in America, and one of the finest in the whole world. Again, in context of what was going on at that time, to be described that way as one of the finest in the whole world from America, which was nothing at that time.
The Torah world at that time was very diminished, was a very big accolade. And Rav Gadalyasha learnt in Vidas under Rav Sharaga, Faival Mendelavitz. And he eventually became rash Hashiva himself.
What was interesting about the way he learned Torah was that he was Litvish in his upbringing. He learned in Vidas. And he has a way of combining litvish lomdos together with hasidish makshava. So he draws a lot from the spassemas, for example, who was the gerarbi. He draws a lot from Rabzadak, who we're going to talk about tomorrow at one. And if you come tomorrow at one, you will hear the most breathtaking Torah. Saddak's Torah is unparalleled. I'm just putting that out there.
And he quotes a lot of maharal, a lot of makshava, which is unusual to combine with Lipvish lombus. So, again, so he develops a framework for understanding this idea of an imperfect world. Based on the understanding between the difference between the two sets of luchas. The Torah was given twice. We were given a first set of luchas, and we were given a second set of luchas. And at each time it was a different world. And it was compatible with our needs at that time. And I know this is a lot of introductions, but before we go into understanding the difference between a perfect world and an imperfect world, and the first set of luchas and the second set of luchas, and what that means, it's very, very important to understand that each time that we received it, it was right for us then. Meaning when we received the second set of luchos, which we're going to talk about as representing the imperfect world. It may be imperfect, but it's exactly what we needed then and exactly what we need now. So, to use an analogy, if somebody has a child who they would love to send to a specific school, maybe they went to that school, maybe their other kids go to that school. That's the Lahatchila school. That's their ideal choice of school. They would love to send their child to that specific school. But it's not right for that kid, then it's not good, right? Maybe they even need to send their kid to a school that's not from or maybe even a school that's not jewish, because that's what that child needs at that time. So it might be an imperfect situation, it might be a bedieva situation, but for that child, it's exactly what they need. So when we talk about living in an imperfect world, we're talking about a world that Hashem designed for our needs based on who we were and who we are. So this is exactly the right world for us at this time. And the luchas were given to us in a way that suited us and matched us. And let's explore this idea.
So I am going to turn to the source sheet where we look at. I've got two boxes here on the first page. One is Falucha Srishanus, and one is fellocheshnius. And we're going to look at the difference between them. The difference between the way they're described, the difference between the way they were given to help us understand what it means to live in an imperfect world. And then we're going to talk about how that relates to us as people in this imperfect world, how are we supposed to relate to our current situation?
So, in the first set of Luchas, it's described like this. In Shmos Parak Lama's base, Vayifin Vayyer is Moshe Minahar. Moshe turned, and he came down from the mountain. And this follows on nicely from those of you who are here this morning. What we said this morning, it follows on nicely from the giving of the Torah at Harcinai. So Moshe comes down from the mountain. Ushne Lukha, Tayedas Bayada. And he's got the luchas in his hand. Luchasubimishne, Avrahim Misel Mizahim Kisavim.
They're written on both sides.
And also, the writing on the Luchas was written by Hashem.
And it was engraved. The writing was engraved. So we've got three things going on here in the description. Number one, the tablets themselves were made by Hashem. Number two, the writing was also written by Hashem. And number three, the way the writing was written was that it was engraved onto the stone. So let's unpack all of this.
So, first of all, whenever we have Luchaisen writing, it's an analogy to body and soul. For example, we know this from the story of Rabchanina ben TARAJIAN. One of the Ten masters there. Sarah HaROgE maHus. He was burnt by the romans. Yemashimam. They wrapped him in a Torah scroll, and they set the Torah scroll alight. So they burnt him wrapped in a Torah scroll. And his students saw him in this terrible, terrible pain, and they said to him, rebi, what do you see? And he said, I see the parchment is burning, but the letters are flying up to Hashem, which was an analogy to what he was going through at that time. My body is burning. My soul will go up to hashem. The parchments represents the body, or in this case, the tablet. The stone represents the body, and the writing on the luchas, or the writing on the Torah represents, the nushama represents the soul.
So the implications of this, when we plug it into the first set of luchas, and what that means is that if Hashem carved the body, he carved the luchas. It means that the physical part of the luchas was also elevated. It wasn't just stone. It wasn't just an ordinary stone that somebody found. And it happened to be that Hashem wrote something holy on them. The stone ITself was divine. And this is very important, because when you plug it back into our analogy, remember Adam Harishan, before the sin, he had a physical body, but the physical body was not physical.
He didn't need to cover it. It didn't have a physical entity. It was Also divine. It was a cleave of the divine, and it was divine itself.
So, in the first set of luchas, we have the tablets themselves being holy, which represents body, also physical, also, the whole thing being holy. And this is all going to make SEnse soon, so DOn't worry.
And Then the second thing about this luchas. So the writing was holy. That was the second Thing. The third thing I should say about this luchas is that the writing was engraved. So what does it mean when something is engraved? If I were to write something on this over here, so if I would take ink and write it on this wood. So you have two separate entities. You have the writing, and it's superimposed on the woods. But the writing and the woods are separate. If I engrave onto this wood, I scratch into it, then they become synced. They become one. The writing and the woods become one. The writing is the woods. The woods is the writing. They're the same thing.
So when we say that the stones were engraved with the writing of Hashem, the luchais themselves had become holy. The Luchais themselves, which were made by Hakadosh Barucho, they had become divine as well. It wasn't just holy writing. It wasn't a physical and a spiritual separate. They were completely, completely synced. And what does this mean in terms of our level at the time. What does it mean about Clyde's role at the time?
The way we were created and the way we are? I mean, it's not actually the way we were created, but the way we are and the way we exist is that our bodies and our souls are two separate things. They're always at war. They're always fighting. Your body wants one thing, and your soul wants something else. Your body tells you, chase this physical thing, chase this material thing, chase this kind of pleasure, chase this kind of physical enjoyment. And your soul says, no, you weren't created for this. So we're always fighting every time we have a battle of our yatesahara, every time we have a decision, every time we have a dilemma. This is what's going on. It's body versus soul. Body versus soul.
The more a person's physical desires are synced together with an ashama. And I'm going to explain this, so don't worry. The more spiritual that person is. Meaning, to use an extreme example, if somebody desperately, desperately wants to eat pork, desperately wants to eat pork, even if they control themselves, they are a less spiritual person than somebody who can't even begin to think of eating something that maybe has a questionable, questionable hexa, or they're not 100% sure if it was checked right, or something like that. That person is more spiritual. The more the body and the soul are at total war and want two completely different things. The less spiritual and the more they kind of are aligned and synced together and want a similar thing, then the more spiritual that individual is.
So when we say that the writing of the luchas was engraved, it was completely synced. The physical, the spiritual, they were one. You have physical stone, and you have spiritual writing. Hashem's words themselves, and they are one. They're inseparable for each other. What we're also saying is that the Jews at that time were at that level where their physical bodies and their spiritual souls were completely synced, and they were at one. And I heard an absolutely magnificent way of describing this from Revlopianski.
So he said, he gave an analogy of somebody who's a real expert in their field. So say, for example, a doctor. Sometimes a case will present itself to a doctor. A patient will present himself to a doctor. And a doctor doesn't necessarily have to think and debate and consider what does this person, what's wrong with this person they instinctively can diagnose because they are so synced with what's going on. Or, for example, a business person sometimes will instinctively know that something is a bad deal or a good deal just because they are such experts, they are so engrossed in the field that they don't have to think about it intellectually. They automatically, their body knows, their body senses what to do. I was thinking about this in terms of sometimes you hear stories of a firemen, of firefighters who are putting out a fire in a building, and suddenly somebody will say, we got to get out this room. And they run out the room and that room collapses. And they didn't look around and evaluate and analyze that pillar over there. That's a supporting pillar. And it seems to be like it's taking a lot of fire. And however it is, they would do it right. But instinctively they know. And if you ask them why, they say, I don't know. I just knew I had to get out because my years of training and experience in this field told me my body felt I had to get out of here. They react with their body, and that's what Clyde's role was like at that time. Our body, our soul were all one. How does this manifest when we said NAsA Vaneshma? What's Nasa Vaneshma?
I don't have to hear and think and debate and consider and weigh up all the different options. Instinctively, I know this is what I'm doing. Instinctively, this is the choice I'm going to make. NASA vaneshma. I don't even have to hear, I know I am going to do this because at that time, our physical selves were not fighting this war of I don't really want to. And our Yatesahara saying, but saying, no, but you really should. And the horror saying, but I really don't feel like it. Our bodies and souls were not fighting. We were at total oneness. And we NasA Nishma. I will just do this instinctively because we were in that space of perfection, in that space of chorus al halochois, where the writing had become a part of the stone and the stone had become a part of the writing. And what does Hashem say when we said nasa vaneshma? He said, mi gilalavonai roz zechemalache hasharis mishdamshimboi. This is the secret of the malachim. This is what angels do. They don't have a physical body where they think, I want to, I don't want to, I should, I shouldn't. They're completely purely spiritual and they just do instinctively. And that's what we were like at that time. That's what we were like at the first set of luchas the gemara in eravin. If you look at the next source in this box, it tells us altikra echarus ela kheros. Don't read this word in the possuk when it says chorus, meaning engraved al haloch, don't read it as Horus engraved, read it as Kairos, read it as free. And the Gemara goes on to say that at that time, when we said Nas Avenishma, we were free from the malachamavas, there was no more death in the world, right? Remember, we all had Hamasim. There was no longer a concept of death. And Rav Gadalia sure explains that. When it says altikri eloh, don't read it as this, read it as that. It's not saying change the meaning from this to that. It's saying that both meanings here are intertwined and connected and tell us something together.
The fact that the writing was engraved, which means body and soul has become one, okay? Is connected to the idea the sync between body and soul was connected to the idea that we were free from the malachamavis. Because what is death is death represents that we have a physical and a spiritual self, and the physical ultimately overpowers the spiritual and we die and our physical body decomposes. It represents this lack of sync. But at that point, when there was chorus al halochis, when it was all synced, when body and soul were completely synced and body was elevated and body was spiritual also, then it's kheros al haluchais also. Because at that time, there is no death, because there is no war between body and soul, the nishama overpowers, and the body lives forever because it hasn't got a physical entity anymore. So at that time, we were free from malachamavis. Our body, our souls were synced. We were at one.
We didn't have these physical temptations and inclinations. We were purely spiritual. And at that time, we were free from the malachamavis because we had overpowered the physical reality.
So in the third source, in this box, the bottom one, that's why says the elohim atem. It says Elohim on the store sheet. But it should be elohim because it's not saying hashem. It means like a malach aniya martyr, elohim atem of nay ely and kulchem. I said at that time that you were like malachim. You were like angels, completely spiritual. At that time, when you accepted the Torah, you were not mortal physical beings anymore. There was no death. The nishama overpowers the death. And there's no decay of the physical body because the nishama wins, because it was all spiritual.
That was the level of Torah for the first set of luchos. However, the posse continues, and after the hetoegal, which was just one day later.
However, in the end, ultimately, this did not last. This perfect world of total sync between body and Soul, of no Hester upon him, of overpowering death, it did not last. And Ahenka Adam Samusun, in the end, we die like man.
Let's look at the second set of luchas.
I'm going to skip just for now. I just wanted it to be in chronological order, but in the lucha shniyos box, I've got from Shmis Lamid's giml and shmois Lamad Dalid. I'm going to look at Lamid Dalid first, and then we'll go back to Lama's gimmel. But I wanted you to see it in chronological order, even if we're not reading it in that order. So when it came to the second set of luchas, Vayoma Hashem al Moisha says Hashem to Moshe.
Lukhais Avanim Karishim. And here you have your first change. Hashem says to Moshe, this time you must carve these luchas the same as the first. But this time you carve them. This time they are man made. They are not divine.
They will be made by you. Vakasafti ahaloka sadivara mashahoyo ahalo mashashi barata I'm going to write on them. The writing is the same and the content is the same, and the writing is just as divine, and the Torah is just as God given, but the body itself is now physical. That's the difference. And there's no horus. It's not engraved. Okay? It's not synced perfectly this time it's written, and it's written on man made tablets that Moshe RAbbeinu himself makes. So the content's the same, but it's a different relationship with the body. And the body today. The luchais shniyois body, it can still contain divine, it can still contain spirituality. It has the words of Hashem written on it.
The same words of hashem are written on it, but it's different relationship.
It's not intrinsically spiritual. A body can become spiritual and it can contain spirituality. But in the first set, the body itself was spiritual. Now a body is physical, and we have to fight very hard and work very, very hard. And it's a lifetime of work and a lifetime of difficult choices every single hour of the day. To sync our body and anushama together. To make choices with our physical body that Anushama wants to make.
Change number one. The second difference between the two sets. The first set of luchas, and this was what we discussed this morning. Was given with huge Gilroy upon him. Everybody was there. Everybody heard. Everybody saw. There was fire. There was lightning, there was thunder. You heard the lightning. You saw the thunder. It was a dramatic revelation. The second set of luchas, who was there? Just Moshe. Moshe went up quietly, privately, he received the second luchas. He came down again. Total Hester upon him.
At the giving of the second set, Moshe asked Hashem, please reveal yourself to me. And this is in Shmoi Lama's gimel. So the first source in the Luchashnius box. Sorry to be confusing here, but this comes immediately before the bit where we just read where Hashem said, go make another set of luchas. Make them yourself immediately before that. This is from the ends of the previous parake. And this is the beginning of the next parak. Hashem. Moshe says to Hashem, vayome Harini. No. As Khadecha. Please show yourself to me, Hashem. I want to understand more about you. I want to understand more about your ways, Vayomer. And Hashem says. Losachalirosis panai. You can't see my face. You can't see me directly reveals Kilo Yurani hazambachai baro isa s ahoyrai ofanai loyera. Famous words. You will see the back of me. Hester upon him. You will not see my face. This is the way I operate with the world right now.
We needed the second set of luchas. Because the first set didn't work for us. Right. It's no point in teaching kids at a level. Sorry to keep using education analogies. But it's no point in teaching kids at a level that you think they ought to be at. You can't teach quantum physics to a grade three. Just because you think that this is the ultimate thing that they should know. It doesn't help. You need to reach people at the level where they're at. Or it won't work for them. And this is where Hashem met us, at a level where we are at. This was right for us. This was appropriate for us. But this is the imperfect world. If you turn over the page to the source from Baba Basra, the Gemara tells us that luchais vashivre luchais munachimba.
Both sets are in the orain. Both sets were kept in the orain. The first set and the second set. And that represents that. We didn't lose the capacity for luchas Roshanus completely. We didn't lose the capacity for a person to work. To overpower his physical self. And develop a spiritual self. We've seen people like this in our own lifetimes. We know people like this. Who work so hard. To overpower their physical Existence. And become more and more and more spiritual. But it's hard work. We have to work hard at it. We have to work to purify our bodies. To be in sync with an hasham. It doesn't come automatically.
So if we summarize the difference between the two sets. For now. The first set represents what we call hashem. Running the world within that. He demands perfection. Judgment. You have to be exactly right. There's no space for error here. One mistake and you're out. You saw Azman Chava ate from the tree, and they're out. Kheta egel, and we're out. A world where perfection is demanded. Because it's a perfect world. There's no death. Because it's a perfect world. And there's no Hester upon him. Because it's a perfect world. But perfection is demanded from human beings. That's the first step.
In the second step, we have a very, very imperfect world. We have Hester upon him. We have death. We have tragedy. We have so much we don't understand. We don't know why the world works the way it does. We're so limited in what we see.
But there's an upside. And the upside is that there's Rachamim.
The hashem doesn't look at. It's not one strike and you're out. The rambam says we're judged with a balanced scale. Like you learn from kindergarten, from nursery school. That hashem takes out a balance scale. And if you have Roy mitzvahs, you're a tzadik. He needs majority. You can still have averus. You can make mistakes. As long as you're on balance, you're good. That's what it means to live in a world of Rachamim.
And the second set came with a tremendous gift. It came. And you can read this. I'm not going to read it inside. But you can read this in that Lamad Dalid. In the Luchad shniyos box. And the source underneath it that it came with the Yudgimal. Mirasarachamim. When Hashem gave Moshe the second set, he gave him the 13 attributes of mercy, the Yudgimo Mirasarachamim. You can make mistakes, and you can sin, and you can go wrong over and over and over again, and you can do to shuffle each time. And I will greet you with Rahamim, and I will have pity on you, and I will forgive you, and I will be understanding, and I will give you another chance. And you will sin again, and I will give you another chance. That's what we received with the second set, this gift of Teshuvah. We received it on Yom Kippur. It became a day of teshuvah forever. What a gift. A day to start over. Not a world of din, where one strike and you're out, but a world where we can constantly keep on trying, where things go wrong and we do wrong, but we can keep working on ourselves and keep improving and having more and more and more chances. That's the second set of luchas.
And I think that this is very, very meaningful in terms of Rabi Gadalia Shah's life, because he lived during the Holocaust, not in Europe, but in America. He was here during the Holocaust. And I think that I've been thinking about this more in the last couple of months, when we're all here, and we feel very helpless, and things are happening in Eretz Yisrael, and we can't do anything about them, and our hearts are broken, and we walk around thinking about it, and what was it like for Jews in America at that time? The reports that were coming in about gas chambers and mass extermination and the helplessness, and there was no possibility to communicate. And Rav Shaw spent the Holocaust years trying to get people. He worked very closely with Mike tress to try and get affidavits for people to come over. He saved a lot of. He was very, very involved in the Hatsala war efforts. He went to shules and banged on the Bima and cried and shouted, how can we save more people? But that's a time of tremendous Hester upon him.
It was a very imperfect world that they felt and they sensed in a very real way.
And it was a time when european jewelry was shattered completely, and a time when american jewelry was very, very fragile, and there was a lot of Khalil Shabbos, and people didn't want to send their children to jewish schools. So this was the reality that he was dealing with a world of tremendous imperfection, of human imperfection, of Hester upon him. This is the world that he's relating to when he talks about living in a world of Lucha shniyos and living with this imperfection and living with a world that's rachamim and not din.
So I want to ask, how does Hashem relate to this imperfect world, and how do I relate to it now that I understand more about the difference between the perfect and the imperfect? How does Hashem relate to this plan b? It was not his plan a. We know that Betzhillah also be Makshava. He has an original plan for the world, and this was not his plan. He made the plan B because he saw the world would not survive. So how does he relate to this new world, and how do I relate to this? So I want to develop this further based on something that I heard from Yisrael Reisman, which he bases on the framework of the al Yahu. So it's still part of this framework and part of this idea, and this is in the context of understanding about another person who was taken to the exact same cave where Hashem said to Moshe or Isa as Ahoyrai Opanai Loyer, somebody else went to the same cave. And this is many years later, in the days of Malachim Aleph, when in the days of Achov, he was the king at the time, and there was rampant Ava Dezara all over the terrible time for the Jewish people, of everybody serving Ava Dazar and Elyo Hanavi was the navi at that time.
And he decreed the drought. Okay, he decreed a drought. He looks at the world, and he says, it says in Shema, I mean, it's a long story that I'm cutting short, but it says in the shema, after all, that if you don't follow the ways of Hashem, lasa vah damalo sitanes yevolen. I'm pretty sure I just said that wrong.
But you won't have rain, and you won't have produce if you don't listen to Hashem's ways. So he decreed a drought. It was a terrible drought for three years. And then he calls everybody to harmel. He made a massive kiddosh, Hashem, of a carbon being brought down. Again, I'm missing out a lot of details. And Izeval, who was the wife of Ahav, wanted to kill him, and he ran away. And this is where our story picks up. So he ran away.
Now, according to Rav Sadot, the malbem, the al Sheikh, the marasha Eliyahu, had reached personally a level of total perfection. He was a luchais Rishainos person. He has reached what is called Ziko Haguf. He has completely purified and spiritualized. I made up that word, his body to become a purely divine physical. Sorry. His physical and his spiritual self were all spiritual. He was completely perfect. And it's very, very hard to be perfect in an imperfect world. He couldn't relate to it. He couldn't understand it. And he punishes Clyde's role with Din. He looks at the world, he looks at the avaid azarah, and he says, I can't tolerate this. It says in the shema that you are going to be punished. You can't live like this. You're serving avaid azarah. Hashem did not choose to decree a famine. And Eliyah Navi had to beg Hashem for the keys to reign to declare the famine. Okay. And Hashem acquiesced it to his request. But Eliyahu initiated this. Eliyahu was the one who wanted to punish Clydisrael.
So if you look on the second side of your page, Malachem Aleph, your tests, I want to read you inside.
So Yahu runs away, and he damns to Hashem, and he says, I want to die. He's so upset. He's so unhappy to be in this world. And he damns Hashem to take his life. Sashem sends a malach bayashaf. Malach Hashem sheinus vayega boy bayema kumar. Malach touches him, and he says, eat. We're going on a long journey. Bayoka mayoka vaishta vayelek bakayaka hilahi. He eats, he drinks, and he manages to walk. Malach instructs him, and he manages to walk with the strength of that meal for arboyim yoyim barbayam lila. 40 days and 40 nights. Now hold on to that familiar number at haralo kim harev until the mountain of Hashem. Harev. Familiar place. Harev is harcinai.
And he comes to a cave there. Vayavai sham al hama aravayal. The same cave where Hashem took Moisha when he said, bora isa as ahirai upon.
And Hashem says, what are you doing here? Why are you here? What's the problem? And Elio explains, they killed you, Navim. They served Ava Desorah. I stood up. I was a kanoi on your behalf. I was a zealot. And now they want to kill me. Zeva wants to kill me, and I had to run away. And he tells Hashem the whole problem, says Hashem. Bayomer, say, v'amadata bahar lifne hashem, I want you to go and stand on the mountain. Harcharu harsinai vene hashem over. And I'm going to show you myself. I'm going to pass. I'm going to pass by the Ruach Gadola, Vocazak, mafari, Karim. There's going to be a strong wind that can smash mountains and break rocks. Lift nayashem loy baruach Hashem. But you should know I'm not in that wind. That's not me.
Va Ruach. And after this very strong wind rash, there will be a powerful, powerful, earth shattering noise. Loba rash hashem. I'm not in the noise either. For aharha rash aish. And after the very, very strong noise, there will be a fire. Loba ish hashem. And I'm not in the fire either. V'kar haish. And after the fire, colmadaka. A small, still, soft voice. Vi neha shem oyver. And that's when I pass. That's where I am. That's where you'll find me.
So you come to Clyde's role within. And I want you to know, says Hashem, I have plenty of storms. I have plenty of fires. I have plenty of destructive noises. I have malachi kabbalah. I have angels that can destroy everything. And this is what's said by the Ralbag and the Malbim and others. But do you know how I want to relate to clay Yisrael? I want to relate to them with a call to mamadako, with a soft, still voice. I didn't choose to declare a famine. That was you. I don't relate to my world within. It's an imperfect world. And I relate to it with a call to Mamadaka.
Like we say in the Yom Kippur davening, right? Where is Hashem? Where do we say? In the Onasana Toikev? We say there's a cold to mamadaka. That's where we hear Hashem with a small at the moment of judgment on Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. It's a cold mamadaka. It's a soft voice, a still voice. A quiet, a gentle voice.
Hashem takes him to the same cave where he took, says, this isn't a perfect world. And do you know what Maisha Rabbeinu is like? There's a message in here. That when things went wrong, Moshe Rabbeinu didn't criticize Clyde's role. He always defended Clyath's role. Even after the hetahel, Hashem wanted to destroy Clyde's role. And he says, I'll build a new nation from you, from Moshe Rabbeinu. And Moshe Rabbeinu spoke to Hashem and Chutzpah, and he says, if you do that, you're going to have to erase me from the entire Torah. I'm not going to be a part of this.
I'm not going to exist in your Torah where you destroy Clyde's role. You need to forgive this nation. So Hashem takes Elio on Moshe's journey. He makes him walk for 40 days a night, like Moshe was on the mountain for 40 days a night. He takes him to the same spot, okay? He doesn't eat for 40 days a night like Moshe, and he takes him to the same spot, and he says, this is how I relate to my world. I relate to my world as a world of imperfection, with a small, still voice. I don't criticize, and I don't look for leaders who criticize, like the stories of Yitzchak of Bedichev. You know the story where he saw. He was walking with his talmizim, and they saw a wagon driver, and the wagon driver was davening as he was fixing the wheels of his wagon. And his students said, how can you daven when you're in the middle of fixing your wagon? That's terrible. Ereb Levy turned to Hashem, and he said, look at your children. Even while they're fixing their wagon, they're davening. Or he saw a jew smoking on Shabbos once, and he went up to him and he said, did you know what Shabbos said? Did you forget it was Shabbat? Says, I know it's Shabbos. And he says, did you forget that you're not allowed to smoke on Shabbat? Says, I know I'm not allowed to smoke on Shabbos. And he says to him, is there an extenuating circumstance where you have to smoke on? Says, no, I know what I'm doing, and there's nothing that's compelling me to smoke on. Aviatrik turns to Hashem, and he says, hashem, look at your children. They would rather declare themselves as a sinner than say a lie. They never want to tell the lie.
And we face the same nisayin as Eliyah and Navi. Sometimes we know we're not perfect.
But sometimes we feel like we're more perfect than other people. Maybe in certain areas, right? I have higher standards of Kashrus than her. Or I keep Israel and she doesn't. Or I'm more sneers than her. I give more tzadaka. I host people for Shabbos and she never does. Right? I do more chesed. We have a shul meal roster and she never volunteers. And I'm always volunteering to do meals on the roster. Right. I go to Shul on Shabbos and she stays at home and reads a novel. Sometimes we feel like we're more perfect than other people in certain areas. And it's hard to stay tolerant and we get irritated and we get annoyed. But it's an imperfect world and we ask Hashem to tolerate us all the time.
There's one of my favorite stories ever. It originates here in Baltimore. So I'm going to tell you the story, but if anyone knows more details and you can come and tell me after this, I'll so appreciate it. But it's a story about Rev. Rudimen that there was an Avreich in the Kailal who went to Rev. Rudimen and he said to him, I have a very, very special needs child and I don't know how to teach him. He can't really learn. So Rev. Rudimen says, teach him Aleph Beis. So it was a big effort. The man went home and he taught him, you know, he hides a malamas, or he himself. He taught him Aleph base.
And after a while, he finished learning Aleph Basin. He went back to Rev. Rizaman and he said to Rab Rutzman, we finished Aleph base.
So Rev. Rizziman said, okay, we're going to make a sim. I want you to invite everybody. I'm going to invite all the rabanim, all the rabbim in the yeshiva. We're going to have meat and we're going to have wine. So the Avrik looked at him and he said, okay, rebi, it's Aleph base.
So Rav Ruthman said to him, you know, when we talk about the Torah, we describe it as the yamshal Torah. It's a sea. The Torah, in depth and in breadth, it's a sea of Torah. Now, if we go to the sea together and I take a bucket and I fill a bucket full of water and somebody else takes a teaspoon and they fill a teaspoon of water. So I might have a lot more water than him. But relative to what Torah is we have nothing. I have nothing, he has nothing. It's all the same. So in context of what there is to be learnt about Torah, what is the difference between what I know, which is a bucket, and what your son learned, which is a teaspoon? That's all. Nothing compared to everything.
And I think that the same can be applied to all areas of Yiddishkite. Sometimes we think we're better than someone else. I do more, I know more, I learn more, I put more effort in. But when we stand before Hakadosh Barucho, with an ocean, an ocean of depth, compared to what we can be and who we are and what we should be and where we're holding, there's an ocean, an ocean of chesed, that Hashem does for us on a daily basis, an ocean of gratitude that we should feel when we stand before Hashem, so impoverished compared to what he gives us and what we do for him, and where we should be and what we've done with what he's given us. So what's a bucket compared to a teaspoon when we're so impoverished like this?
When Hashem promises to wipe out the family of Yorovam, which was another wicked king in Sefer melochem. So he sends Anovi to tell him that these are all the terrible things that are going to happen to your family. But there's one son in your household, one child, he will get a decent burial because Yan Ashanimsa Bodovar tov, because this one child, he did a good thing.
Now, he was a bad person, but he did one good thing. And for that, Hashem says he's going to get a decent burial, unlike everybody else here, I mean, in the nobi. So one thing. Bahashem acknowledged and validated and rewarded that one thing. And in our quest to be like Barucho, in an imperfect world where nobody's perfect, can we also be like Hashem, look for the one good thing, and acknowledge and validate and reward and respect the one thing. Can we make an effort to find the one good thing?
Eliyahanovi is fired. I can't say this, but the novi says it, and the maforishim say it. He's the only navi to be openly fired. The last possuk in this section of Malachim Vayoma Hashem may love. Hashem says to him, lech shovela darka, go. Go home.
Go home and anoint alicia instead of you. The only navi to be fired, says Rashi. And I especially brought the rashi even though I didn't bring every source, because this is something that I can't say. I need you to just see it yourself, he says, timshakla navi taktecha e f she bin vuaska I can't have you as a navi mehar sha atomalame categoria albanai because you're too critical. I can't have you lead my people when you are so critical. I need leaders like Moshe Rabbeinu, who look for the good in my nation, who defend them, who find the positive.
When will Eliyahanavi come back? When Moshiach comes, that's when it will be a perfect world. That's when we'll be ready for Hanavi's perfection.
And we're waiting for the day when we'll return to a world of Luchas Roshanus. A world when we're less at war with our physical and our spiritual, where it's easier to do the right thing. A world where there's no death. A world where there's no hester upon him, where we see Hashem clearly.
But in the meantime, we must look at others with all their imperfections in this world of tremendous imperfection, in the same way that Hashem relates to us not within and not with, and not with ruach, and not with rash, but with the kolda mamadaka.
Thank you.
